I remember when I first started bicycle touring. I was training along the coast of North Carolina when I joined up with a seasoned rider. We were cruising along easily, and I noted to him that this biking thing wasn’t really so hard. He grinned and replied, “Yeah, with a tailwind.” I hadn’t noticed. I did when I turned around to go home. The headwind beat me up.
Finding your Tailwind
#1 Use great photos online
Your first photo viewed and all the others are the most important online facts about you that will get you dates. To understand this better see our post on window shopping. Don’t discount the importance of your image. It may be true that you are so much more than what you look like, but we all make snap judgments about people based on their looks.
#2 Don’t confuse selling with buying
Your online profile has one function, to sell you out in the marketplace for dates. It’s an advertisement for you. It’s your 30 second ad during the Superbowl. Make it work for you. Know your product, and know your target audience. Advertisements don’t say “I want xyz from you.” They say “I’ve got what you want.” The desire for you is out there. Your job is grab the attention of the people with that desire.
You get to do “buying” when you check out their profiles and pay close attention to them on dates. This is equally as important as selling. Know what you are looking for. Hint: if you think it is mostly about looks, you are way off course. Looks are very important to begin with and way less important for a relationship.
#3 Be Yourself
You ask, “What else could I be?” Well, people pretend to be all sorts of things they aren’t because they think that is what will get them the most attention. Talk about creating a headwind. Sooner or later faking wears thin and you’ll just be you. You might as well make it easier by being you to begin with. Be proud of who you are. People respect that, and studies show it leads to better dating success.
Know your strengths. Work on your weaknesses. Be happy. Those three things aren’t so easy to do, but it you work at them a little bit at a time, you will be amazed at the tailwind you will develop.