Are you a Great Lover?

No, not in bed. I’m talking about a lover in the sense of a person who brings love to a relationship.

Love for this purpose is multi-dimensional. To name a small set of love’s positive attributes, love is about – care, truth, respect, gentleness, commitment, understanding, intimacy, generosity, industry, sincerity, cooperation, communication, responsibility, unselfishness, support, faithfulness, forgiving, reliability, gratefulness, receptivity, and, of course, affection and passion. I’m sure I’ve missed a dozen or more other attributes. True love is a very, very good thing.

A hand holding a yellow pencil filling in a computer checked answer sheet on an examination. Education concept

Objective testing
I’m willing to bet you have not been tested by some “independent laboratory” to determine your lover index quotient. Unlike admissions to college there is no standardized admissions test to be admitted to a relationship.

thinkingSelf-evaluation
Research shows that healthy humans tend to significantly over-rate themselves for attributes that are valued, and the attributes of love fit into that category. People think they are better at driving, friendliness, leadership, healing, etc. than they actually are. We are biased toward ourselves as part of our fundamental self-esteem.  So, we generally believe we are better lovers than we actually are.

75/25 rulebalanced
I heard this one as advice from a dad to his son, the groom, right before his wedding. “If you want to be giving 50/50 to the marriage, give 75% because you will tend to over-rate your contribution and under-rate hers.”  Ah, the joy of wisdom.

The best way to be a great lover is to presume you are not.
avisAnswer the title question “no,” work at loving better, and you are more likely to be a great lover.

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Rich

I feel quite fortunate to have found Rose. We have a compatibility that I never expected. I hope you have the same great fortune with your life.

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