Care about what is important
We encourage you to care about what’s important in your life. This is not hard to do. Care about your friends and family, care about those who are suffering, care about doing a good job, and care about so many more important things.
It’s also good to care about a few things that are special to you. Wine. Baseball. Crochet. Even martinis, shaken not stirred. Having refined sensibilities in an area of special interest makes a person interesting.
Don’t care about what is not important
This precept sound a little odd and very easy to do, but often it’s harder to do than you think. It’s commonly expressed as, “Don’t sweat the small stuff.” In relationships, the benefit of not caring too much about too many things is that you will be easier to get along with. For example, sometimes having discriminating tastes about every little thing crosses the line from interesting into being just plain picky.
How does not caring help relationships?
We have all heard the conversation that goes something like this:
Want to go out to dinner? Sure, where? How about Chinese? Not feeling it. Italian? Had it yesterday. That new restaurant on Broadway? I read a so-so review. How about our favorite place? It’s wearing thin on me. Hamburgers? Yuck. et cetera ad nauseam
Wouldn’t it work better as a respectful exchange:
Want to go out to dinner? Sure, where? How about Chinese? That new place on Broadway? Sure, let’s go!
Or even: Want to go out to dinner? Sure, you pick a place, just not XYZ, I ate there at lunch.
While the first couple is getting close to blowing up the others are on their way to an enjoyable evening.
Don’t be a pushover. Stand up for what is important to you, but don’t make too big a deal over all the little things. Most of the time, when nothing critical is being decided, it will serve you better to be compliant, easy-going, laid-back, chill, mellow, and undemanding. Your date will appreciate it and with any luck will return the favor.
It can be a challenge to separate what is truly important to you from what you can easily let go, but it is worth doing.
Just say yes!